Day 8 : Redmond to Mitchell (Oregon) / The Hoodwink Hotel

As a studious reader, one might detect a pattern of me finding sleeping arrangements a couple hours later than one would deem reasonable, especially given my lack of bicycle lighting. Today would be no exception as I simply can’t bother myself with too much foresight or complicated planning.


I rolled into Redmond at half past sunset and quickly assessed several sleeping options: 1) Set up a Stealth Camp behind the newly shuttered GM dealership on the edge of town. After all, it looks plenty safe and inviting, but sleeping on someone’s broken dreams doesn’t sit well with me. In reality, I’d be one step closer to stripping his electrical panels of the valuable copper wire and as a recent victim of such a senseless act, I can’t bike down this criminal path.


Option 2) Stay in a cozy, comfy bed at the newly constructed Sleep Inn just yonder. I see they have lots of empty parking spots and maybe they’ll give me a deal, you know, filling an empty room at a reduced rate.


Option 3) If the price was too high on the new hotel, continue further into town where you can usually find a better deal, maybe something not so new. After all, I’m just catching a shower and a few hours sleep and I’ll be on down the road toward the next town.






Eliminating the GM property, I moved to Option 2, The Sleep Inn, where I poured on my charm. After all, I didn’t want to be mistaken as a homeless man, which frankly, I’m starting to resemble. Our conversation begins:

Me to clerk, “Boy am I tired, I just biked half way across Oregon and just beat the night. I could sure use a clean comfortable place to recharge.” I hand him my business card, clearly explaining my altruistic mission. He begins pecking at his keyboard, unimpressed with my card.
Clerk to me “Ya got AAA or any other coupons?”

Me to clerk, “AAA baby, it’s the beez knees!” I often throw a funny in there to establish camaraderie and most importantly, to soften up the rate sheet.

Clerk to me “My best rate going is $80.00 + tax. Ya want to be on the ground floor I reckon with your bike and all?”

Me to clerk “Do you have anything cheaper than the honeymoon suite? If you do I’d be most grateful.”

Clerk to me “ Sorry sir, our rates are firm”

Feeling down and slightly dejected, I summon Elvis and we roll into the night. At least that is, until I discovered the Hoodwink Hotel a couple of blocks down the road. My first impression was of the gold Mercedes in the carport. Well, that’s a good sign I thought, probably a like-minded traveler squeezing his dollar just like me. I checked in with the gal at the desk and attempted to confirm what the sign out front read, Free Internet. I asked her,”Do you have free Internet?” She replied “Sorry, I don’t speak English.” Hmmm. I paused in disbelief.

“How much for room for 1 night only?” I asked, cutting out the superfluous words that might break our conversation down. She replied, “$38 no tax.” SOLD, end of conversation.

I checked in and made my way out back to a separate wing where my room conveniently sat next to the ice machine. I figured, wow, my luck. My knee is going to appreciate the attention it’ll be getting tonight. I opened the door to the room and noticed an unusual odor. Bravely, I unpacked Elvis, thinking to myself, ‘I’ll go get some Ice, get to taking care of the sore knee and all – and I’ll be asleep before long anyways.’

[ Above: Get your ice here - this place would have even scared Jeffrey Dahmer ]

[ Above: Nice touch, but you can’t fool me. ]

[ Above: Cigarette burns on mirror, rarely a positive sign in a motel. ]


[ Above: This pretty much says it all. ]

It wasn't exactly the Ritz-Carlton, but trying to get my money back, given the language barrier, would very likely be futile. So, I breathed a long sigh, unrolled my sleeping bag and climbed on in.



Visit the Jaredsmiles.org website.